Jim Brass Your Life Is Calling You
by Melissa92863
Summary: When Jim Brass is shot what happens next is anyone's guess. This is his near death experience. Third and last chapter up.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. I borrowed the characters for this story.

This is my own take on near death experience. I have had one. I also wished to express my views on my father's death in 2004. I believe he was given a choice to live or die. I believe sometimes you are given a choice. I also took liberties with several movies all of them I'm not sure which part came from. Cheers and Enjoy!

Chapter One-Bumping into your Guardian Angel.

The last thing Jim Brass heard as he fell into unconsciousness was that he had been shot. Funny, Jim had been shot before but not like this. Although he had worn his vest the bullets had hit just beside the Kevlar's protectiveness. He was sure that his right lung had been hit along with a possible knick to the subclavian artery. Enough time had been spent with Dr. Phillips and Dr. Robbins among others, not to know he was in dire circumstances.

The fear and pain was almost more than he could stand as blood started seeping into his mouth. Then he heard a woman's voice and saw a great light. The light was almost blinding as the disembodied voice said.

"Come and walk with me Jim." She put out her hand and he took it but not with his own in the physical since. He left his body behind lying on that hotel room floor.

Her presence was calming. He wasn't afraid or in pain anymore like he had been minutes ago tasting the blood. She smiled at him and as her shadow passed to where the light was backlighting her, he smiled at her. She was a lovely creature, a long haired blonde with blue eyes with the look of a pixie about her. She was in a robe of pure white and lovely white wings.

"Hello Jim." She said smiling.

"Hello, what's happening to me?" He asked.

"Jim, I'm your Guardian Angel I'm here to guide you though this time. You have been given a choice whether to live or die. I am here to help you make that choice."

"So I'm not dead? How can that be?" He asked.

"You know that sometimes people are put into comas."

"Yes."

"Well, you are in a coma right now. Your body has been broken and it's possible that the good doctors can't fix it. However; your spirit is strong and your will is too. You always said you would go out fighting or not at all. Here is your chance to do that. I will show you two paths. It is your choice to take one of them as given. The Creator is very happy with you and loves you dearly like he does everyone. Have you forgotten the times you could have died and didn't?" She asked.

"I guess I did for a minute or two. So I'm at a crossroads." He said.

"Yes." She said. "My name is Kyrie."

"Like Kyrie Elasion. Which means God Have Mercy."

"Exactly." She said giggling a little.

"I feel happy and calm." He said tightening the hold on Kyrie's hand.

"Good, then I'm doing my job. Not all deaths or near deaths are ugly, painful or scary. Just be glad it's me and not the other guys."

"I'm relieved really. I saw Ghost and those little black hooded guys scared the crap outta me."

"It's not far from the truth. Remember when good people died they were taken into the light? Well, as you were going unconscious you saw a light and then me. This is how it is for most but not all."

"So you have done this before? Guided someone?" He asked.

"Actually no, this is my first time. Angels have school too. That doesn't end when you die. We have training to finish. When you were born I was assigned to you. I helped you though your life as much as you would allow me. My stars you are a stubborn one!" She said shaking her head.

"Ma and Pop said so too. Most everyone I know has said that even my best friend Gil Grissom. Gil, ah he has power of attorney…..to….."

"Yes but ultimately it's your decision no matter what he does. Actually it's really not yours but free will withstanding…….our Creator has allowed me to show you what life will be like with you and without you. After you see both then you make the choice. Gil Grissom has no baring on the outcome." She said.

"I wish he knew that." Said Jim worrying a little.

"Somehow he will. He won't make it lightly. He is a good man and I know this to be true. Your friendship means a great deal to him. Which ever happens he won't be left with the feeling he didn't give you every chance. What ever happens he won't be left with guilt."

"Thank you. I don't want him to suffer like that. We have been close a long time. He's like a brother to me." Jim said sincerely.

"Ok so let's go and see what might be." She said.

"I can leave……here and not……"

"Trust me." Said Kyrie smiling and winking at him.

"Ok, you have taken me this far in my life." Said Jim as they walked off to cross into another plane.

The place they came too was misty and full of clouds.

"We are crossing into Limbo so hold tight. Those souls are not yet ready to make the jump. Most are still earth bound and you don't want to get caught up with them." She said as they quickly walked though the mist. He saw people standing around and some walking aimlessly.

"This place feels so….isolated and desolate. Like the desert."

"It's sorta like that." She said. "Come on let's find where we are supposed to be."

They came to a door and she opened it. It lead into a narrow hallway that was painted white. At the end was a great whitish blue light around a door. He walked down further. He put his hand on the doorknob. She stopped him.

"Don't open that door unless you want to cross over. This is the door to the living." She pointed over to another door. "We want that one first." She said pulling him back.

"Oh ok. I'm new at this."

"It's ok. So am I. But I want you to know that I was first in my class of 1953."

"The year I was born." He said.

"Yes."

"Were you always an angel?" He asked.

"Yes. I haven't had my time on earth yet as a human being. I'll be someone's child as soon as you make your choice. It's like sorta a graduation for me too." She said.

"Are angels born or made?" He asked.

"We are born but not like humans are. Some of the first ones were made of course. Gabriel, Raphael and Michael were made along with the one who's name isn't spoken." She said.

"Oh Lucifer."

"Shhhhhhush." She said strongly.

"Sorry."

They crossed though the door to the living.

"Why don't we say his name?" Asked Jim.

"It sorta invokes him. Let's the demons know there is a soul that hasn't crossed yet. That's one reason why we hot footed it though Limbo. Demons sometimes come to the outskirts to see what's up. It's not really heaven and hell doesn't claim it, not really. It's sorta a no man's land. Jim you don't want to get stuck there. There is confusion and frustration and very few ways out. An angel or demon has to come and get you. So many times it's not the good guys. Those guys entice souls that just want peace and don't know how to find it on their own." She said.

"Humm, they never said that in Catholic School."

"There are many misnomers here." She said.

"Kyrie, why did I have to be responsible for Bell's shooting?" He asked.

"That I can't answer. It's the way the world works. It was an accident. Bell got up from his position, in the line of fire. He didn't look behind him before he did. You shot at the suspect thinking it would hit the man and you weren't aiming for Bell. He knows that. So does his widow. Those are the only people you have to answer too on that, no one else. Sometimes it's just a person's time to go. Some are taken young with families some are taken old with none to speak of. It's the way our Creator wants. It has to do with free will too. Bell knew he was at risk when he stood up…..Jim do you believe me?" She asked.

"I'm trying too." Said Jim as they walked down a street. He looked around and saw familiar places. His childhood home, his mother calling him to dinner on the porch. Himself, as a child running up the steps and past his mother into the house.

"That's me." He said.

"Surely it is Jim. You were a good child. You did what you were told amid being taunted by the other kids. You were a short stocky kid. But you filled out nicely." Kyrie said as they walked hand in hand. She had not dropped his hand. "Jim don't drop my hand or you'll be staying here in the past."

"Ok. It's been a long time since I held such a pretty girls hand anyway."

"One thing. I'm not a woman. I'm an angel those are two different things Jim."

"You could have fooled me. Your hand is warm to the touch. Mine has to be cold."

"Actually no. You think you are breathing air? No Jim what you are doing is still in a sense in the living world. However; you can sense hot cold, air, breathing everything but pain until you either go back or go to the light. After you go into the light there is no more of that. No pain, no sorrow, no hurt. Just love in its purest form."

As they walked the scenery changed. He was older and in the Marines. He did a tour in Viet Nam. It was at the end of the war and before he got into the police academy in Newark. In the Marines he had been Military Police. He saw himself in his dress blues and smiled.

"That was one hot shot Lance Corporal."

"Yes he was." She said. "But he is still in you and why you were such an affective police captain. You saved many lives and gave many families peace over your three decades as an officer, detective and captain."

"I did?" He asked.

"Yes. Why do you doubt yourself? You have no reason to be doubtful of your abilities." She said stopping.

"Well, there was the Holly Gribbs shooting that cost me the head of CSI." HE said.

"Like I said before Jim everyone has his or her time on earth when it is over it's over. You are a different man now and that is why you are being given a choice. If that hadn't happened you would still be the sarcastic, full of himself Jim Brass that was then. The one that was born out of your divorce. You let that sour you. You allowed Nancy to make you into something you were never supposed to be. I know loosing her and Ellie were hard……"

"What about Ellie now?" He asked.

"We shall see. I know she isn't yours by biology. Things like that happened when you take your eyes off your goals. Sure you wanted a career but you were going about it the wrong way. Our Creator doesn't intervene unless it goes way off his plan that is written for us. Because we have evil in the world that takes many shapes and forms. He only intervenes when the necessity warrants it."

"So we are made out of our experiences?" He asked.

"Yes, you are a very smart man. I'm glad you are listening to me." She said as they started walking and turned a corner.

"You keep calling God the Creator. Why is that?" he asked.

"Because, on the earth there are many religions. He has many names there. Allah, Yeoway, Jehovah, Great Spirit, White Father to name a few. Depends on the person I guess. I use Creator because that is what He is." She said.

"Makes sense." Said Jim.

"It sure does." She said giggling again.

"As for a difference between women and angels……"

"I chose this form so it would be pleasing to you." She said.

"Well, I was always a sucker for a blonde." Said Jim blushing a little.

"I know." She giggled again.

"Nancy was a blonde, Ellie was too for a little while."

"Yes and those were pleasing to you. I thought why not. The form you are seeing now is only for you." She said.

"Well, thanks." He said.

"No problem Jim. Let's go forward in time to Ellie's birth. It was something that made you." She said.

"Ok."

They watched as Ellie was born. He hadn't been too happy his wife had slept with his best friend. But as soon as he saw the child his heart changed and he had done everything he knew to protect and love her even if he wasn't her father. He did everything that a father would do and then some but somehow as she grew resentment followed. He had been cheated out of his own child and given second best. Unfortunately Ellie was a bright child and caught on to it. They watched as she grew and Jim finally realized what had happened.

"Oh God what did I do? Why?" He asked sobbing a little.

"It's the way it works sometime. She made you and you made her into what she is today. You kinda sorta made each other."

"Can I change it?" He asked.

"No, it's written in the past now. The only thing you can do is something in the future." She said patting his shoulder with her other hand.

"So there is something I can do? I have tried." He said.

"Yes there is. I know you have. She's just as stubborn. She gets herself into things she shouldn't. But humans always do that. Its part of being human. Part of the experience."

"Kyrie, can we please go forward?" He asked.

"Sure. This is hurting you. It shouldn't be but you are still earthbound. Once you cross over remember there is no pain there. If you choose to go back there will be just like you left." She said.

"Do many go back?" He asked.

"Yes and some see they could be more help to those they love spiritually or as an angel." She said.

"You said there is school for that?" He asked.

"Yes, there is but we are not yet ready to explore that choice yet Jim." She said.

"Ok, but I am thinking on things." He said.

"That's good. But don't allow the pain to cloud your decision." She said. "Once you make it you can't take it back."

"Ok, at least I am certain of one thing."

"What's that?" She asked.

"I know I can still change things with Ellie I just have to try harder."

"That's right." She said as they walked on down the street and went into a building then a flight of stairs. Then another hallway like before.

"In order to go forward some we have to take the long way to it."

"Though Limbo again?" He asked.

"No we are done with that place." She said.

"Before you and I go further can we stop for a while. My head is spinning a bit."

"Sure. Let's go down the way to a rest area. It's not only you that gets a spinning head. It's part of being out of your body. I don't know what the feels like actually but I have been told to let you wait for a while before you and I go on to the next stop in your past."

"Thanks Kyrie. You're a doll."

Kyrie looked a little shocked. "Jim I'm an angel!" She joked.

"You look like a doll to me and angel doll." He said as they walked a ways down the hall.

She giggled and they disappeared into a room.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-Forgiveness Is a Gift From the Creator.

Jim and Kyrie sat at a table in what looked like a coffee bar. But it was no coffee bar. It was a weigh station for souls not ready to make the jump but were on the verge of it.

"Kyrie I can't think you enough for letting me see all this. I am really becoming peaceful." Jim said as Kyrie smiled at him. She let his hand go for a moment.

"You are very welcome. Oh and in here we can let go hands. This place is to rest and you are expending a lot of energy and so am I."

"Yeah I can feel that." He said as he looked at his hand.

"You aren't really looking at your hand." She said.

"I got that early on. You said it was part of still being earth bound."

"Yes. How are you feeling now?" She asked.

"Better. You're right. I feel a little drained."

"I'll fix that as soon as you are ready to go on to the next place which will bring us almost up to date."

"Kyrie, why do I feel a pull? Kyrie I feel pain……….."

Suddenly he began to be pulled back. Pulled toward were his body was.

"Jim I………." He was gone. Going back the immeasurable pain his body was in. He looked down and saw his body and the doctors working on him in the trauma room.

"Kyrie!" He shouted holding out his hand to her as she appeared close to him.

"I can't help you right now. They are saving you. It's a tug of war. They have to stabilize your body for us to go on. Just don't fight it. It makes it worse."

"I can't…….Kyrie!" he yelled.

In a flash he was in his body again and in a great deal of pain. He saw Kyrie on the ceiling.

"Please!" He begged. "Kyrie!"

"Shush Captain. Brass you have been shot." Said a female doctor. He looked up and Kyrie was gone. He looked at the doctor who winked at him. Kyrie had gone into the doctor partly. "Please don't fight it. It's making it worse."

"Kyrie?"

She winked again and put her finger to her mask. She touched his head stroking his hair. "Sleep now. I'll be with you in a moment. This part will be over soon I promise."

He felt himself going to sleep and not fighting. The pain was gone and he was back in the mist again. Kyrie stood before him.

"What just happened?" He asked as she clasped his hand again.

"Like I said it's a tug of war right now. Your body was responding to the life saving measures. That in itself calls you back to it. All I can say is it might happen again. We have to go quickly now. You are in surgery. You will survive that. It's after you will have to make your choice."

"What happened to the man who shot me?" He asked.

"He died after being shot by your men. He was a lost soul. He is in Limbo near the outskirts with his brother. They were both lost and I am afraid that the other guys will eventually entice them."

"He wasn't going to back down. I had to save that hostage. He didn't hurt her?" He asked.

"No, Jackie is safe. Like I said before you saved many lives and gave much closure to grieving families over the years. You and the good people you work with." She said.

"Willie Cutler doesn't deserve not to be saved Kyrie. He only did what he did because he was lost. Can't we do something to save his soul?" he asked.

"I've never been asked that. They didn't go over that in Angel school." She said.

"Could you please ask? He didn't mean……."

"Oh I know he did. I was there remember. I can arrange for you to meet with him if you like but that means going back to Limbo and risking being……"

"I'll do that maybe someone will see and help. Nothing is impossible for God to do. Plus it is me that is asking. The person he harmed. I couldn't go on with this and not try. It's not inside me to hold a grudge now, since I'm kind of beyond that at the moment. I felt for the guy all along. He's sick and needs help. If it had turned out different I would have helped him……Besides Bell has forgiven me right? I mean I'm here and not well……."

"I see what you are saying. You were given forgiveness and you want to return the favor to another. Ok. But you ask a lot of me. I'll do it on one condition." She said.

"What's that?"

"You can not be distracted by others there. Demons take just as pleasing shapes as we angels. You will be talking to Willie Cutler, only him, not his brother Sammy, nor anyone else there but me and him. If you see that I have an unnatural red glow about me it's not me and leave. Wait for me in the middle of Limbo. I'll give you a sign…….a sentence, "Forgiveness is a gift from the Creator."

"Ok, deal."

"Jim, I must help you a little. Please come and embrace me." She said spreading her arms and wings outright.

"You are so beautiful." He said gasping a little at her beauty.

"Come Jim into my arms and under my wings. I will be passing you some of my energy for more strength. Jumping in and out of your body is draining." She said.

Jim put his arms around her and she around him. She folded her wings gently. Jim heard the rustle of the white feathers that were encompassing him as her arms did. She smelled good like fresh linen sun dried on the line. Her body was warm and she touched his head with one of her hands. He looked at her face. It was glowing bright blue white light. Her hair moved in the gentle breeze her actions were creating. She looked lovingly at him. No other woman had ever had that look on her face. Suddenly he felt an energy surge. It wasn't painful just took him off guard a little. Just as suddenly it stopped. She unfolded her wings and smiled at him.

"There now." She said as a mother would in comforting a crying child.

"Kyrie will you marry me?" He asked.

"Silly boy. I'm an angel. Until you become one yourself that can't be. But thank you for the offer. What made you ask me that?" She asked unfolding her wings.

"It was the way you were looking at me. Like, you love me." He said.

"I do love you Jim. I have loved you all your life. Didn't you feel that?" She asked.

"I never felt unloved even when my marriage was breaking up. Was that you giving me hope?" He asked.

"Yes. You are as I said a very smart man. You are learning. I'm pleased and proud of you. What ever you decide I will be there. I will always be there." She said placing her hand on his heart. He took his other hand and held hers. Then he hugged her again.

"I love you too Kyrie."

"Now with that over and done with are you ready to meet with the man that shot you?" She asked as he let her go.

"Yes and I know you will be there. I know you won't leave my side."

"You can count on that." She said as they walked on though the mist to the door to Limbo. She opened it and they walked across the wasteland. In the distance he saw Willie Cutler sitting and sobbing on what looked like a dead tree stump. His brother Sammy standing beside him.

"Willie Cutler." Jim said. He turned around and saw the man he had shot standing with an angel. He was afraid. His brother got in front of him.

"Sammy, we are not here to hurt you but to help you and Willie." Kyrie said.

"How do I know that?" Sammy asked.

"This is Limbo. Until you find the light you are going to be stuck here. Jim Brass came to forgive your brother so that you both might find peace." She said.

"How do I know……."

"I'm here too." Said Jim. "Look I know you didn't mean to shoot me but that is done. What I want for you is to find the light and cross over. I want the powers that be to help you."

"Are you dead too?" Asked Willie.

"Not yet. But you and Sammy are. You need to find an angel and go into the light. There you can find the peace you are looking for. I know you didn't mean to shoot me. It was reflex. I have been a cop too long not to understand that. As for killing your wife and boss and co workers…..man you just snapped after you found Timmy was well you know and you boss overlooked you for another guy. You dreamed up Sammy being there for comfort."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. The evidence was leading to it. Am I not right?" Asked Jim.

"My Brother doesn't have to listen to this." Said Sammy.

"Look if he doesn't he will never find peace. If you were any kind of brother you would be looking for a good guy to get you both across. You don't want to be enticed by the bad ones. Kyrie said……."

"Are you sure she is an angel?" Asked Sammy.

"Yes I'm sure. She protected me from harm with the other guys and brought me here. I asked her to help me help you. There are demons just waiting for you on the outskirts. So be careful." Jim said.

The two men looked at each other. Sammy began to glow red. Jim and Kyrie knew it wasn't Sammy. The demon had just taken a pleasing form. Then he turned into the ugly thing he was.

"He is mine. Jim Brass will be mine too." The Demon said and took hold of Willie. Willie was frightened and pulled against the demon.

Kyrie got in front of Jim unfolded her wings and let go a blinding light. The demon did the same thing only the light was red.

"Go demon there is forgiveness here. You can't take a soul that has been forgiven." Kyrie said.

"I forgive you Willie Cutler! Be gone demon in the name of Jesus Christ!" Jim shouted.

The demon upon hearing this acted like Jim's words were painful and yelled in rage then let a very frightened Willie go. He flapped his wings and turned around and flew off into the mist.

Kyrie folded her wings and caught hold of Willie.

"I'm not supposed to do this. I'm really only for Jim. Willie, do you want to find the light and go on to heaven?" She asked.

"Yes, since I have been forgiven. It takes a good man to do something like that. I kind of sensed that you were trying to help me back there and you were right I panicked. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry Captain Brass." Willie said hanging his head.

Jim put out his hand and touched Willie's shoulder. "Take the chance that has been offered to you by me and Kyrie. Go on to the light. I'm not finished with what ever I'm being put though. What ever happens know that it was meant to happen. God chooses his own time for all of us. Your time was then. Go and try to do something good up there." Jim said smiling at him.

"Will I have a chance to do that Kyrie?" He asked.

"You will if you choose the light. See it's coming for you." She said looking over Willie's shoulder. Another angel appeared. Willie turned around.

"Mother?" He asked of the angel.

"Yes son. Sammy is here with me. You couldn't hear me calling you because of the demon. Come son. Come and be with us." She said lovingly.

Willie turned around. "Thank you Jim. Thank you Kyrie. I have to go now. My mother is waiting to take me home." He said smiling at them.

"Take care Willie and try to do good from now on." Said Jim.

"Yes. Go with your mother. It is her and Sammy is right behind her." Kyrie nodded for him to look. Sammy stood there waving for him to come along.

"Good Bye and I hope I don't see you for a while. Don't take offense. You deserve to live having done this for me. Again I am so sorry." Said Willie.

"Good Bye Willie. You might be the one reason I do go back. Because right now I feel a weight has been lifted off of me. I feel like I have a reason now to be." Said Jim.

Kyrie let go Willie's hand and he walked over to where his mother and brother were waiting. They embraced each other and let go. Then Willie's mother lead them on into the light.

"That was a great thing that you did for Willie." Said Kyrie. "How did you know to say that?"

"I just did. All that Catholic school training, reading the Bible, Milton, Dante and such. I figured he would have to go if I said it out loud." Said Jim.

"Jim I am very pleased. I'm very proud of you and for you. Now let's see what is to be." She said and they walk out of Limbo together.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-It's My Life! It's Now or Never!

Kyrie brought Jim back to the hospital. He was still in surgery. He saw Grissom talking to Ellie.

"I guess Gil called Ellie." Jim said sadly.

"He did."

"Why is she here?" Asked Jim.

"Let's find out."

Grissom and Ellie discussed what was going on with Jim.

"She wants to stay at my house? She never wanted too……."

"He's not going to let her stay there. What you told him about her makes him distrustful of her."

"I'm distrustful of what she has become. You said I could change things. I want to try if my body can be fixed otherwise I'll have to try from…….."

"You will survive the surgery."

"Ok so will I still be me and able to do things? Will I still have my faculties?" he asked.

"You will. But Jim, Ellie is very lost. She might not ever accept your hand in help or love. She is bitter and feels as if she isn't good enough." Kyrie said trying not to hurt him. Unfortunately, telling the truth was part of Kyrie's function.

"God how did this happen? I never meant for her to feel like that."

"I know and so does the Creator. You might not have meant it but you felt that way. Children follow what is taught. Some of your resentment like I said before seeped though. She got just enough to make a decision."

"Does she know she isn't mine?" Asked Jim.

"I can't tell you that, you will have to find out for yourself. I'm not allowed to tell you. But look at what she has become. She knows something or at least suspects it."

"I want to change things Kyrie. I want my life to have meant something to someone. Right now I don't think it does. It didn't to me a while ago."

"That is your choice but remember the pain you felt. It's going to be just that bad when you get back even more so." She said.

"Ok just as long as I can square things with Ellie. She needs to know she is worth it. I need to tell her. I need to show her. All I can do is try. It might not be good enough but I have too at least make an effort." He said.

"Alright then but I also want you to see the people you work with. How much they care for you."

She whisked Jim over to the morgue as David Phillips wheeled in an accident victim in. The look on Catherine Willows lovely face said a lot, the shock, fear and tears coming. Then Phillips said it wasn't Jim it was an accident victim. Relief and hope replaced the shock and fear but the tears were still trying to come.

"Does she love me?" Asked Jim.

"She respects you and that is part of love. She also feels you are a friend. She doesn't want to loose you as a friend."

"I once said to her that I should have married her. She said something like in your dreams."

"Women are fickle creatures. They mean one thing and tell you another. You are supposed to know all this." Kyrie said crossing her arms. "Women like you to read their minds."

Jim Chuckled. "Yeah, over the years I guess I have gotten that. I guess Ellie is the same way seeing she is a young woman now. She doesn't know her own mind yet. Catherine does. Or at least that is how I see her."

"She does. But don't try and mix romantic love and love for a friend with Catherine. You are better off being her friend. If it blooms into more then ok. But for now don't read something that is not there."

"Ok. I guess I tend to do that."

"Yes you do. Even with suspects Jim. You tend to do that. When you uttered the kill word this is what came of it. Try looking past things. Try and plan better. Saying what comes to mind it's usually the truth." Said Kyrie smiling.

Then she took him to where Ellie was finding out about his pension.

"I'm sorry Jim. I had to show you this. You have to know. Ellie is now in a tug of war. One part of her sees her Daddy laying there. One sees dollar signs. She is still torn. However; if she can profit from your death she is going too." Said Kyrie.

"I had plans if something happened to me then Bell's family was to get my pension. Gil has all that. He not only has power of attorney but he is executor of my will. I hadn't changed it so Ellie would have gotten it."

"That's another reason to go back. Change things as you wish. Still Ellie would fight that you know. She is her father's daughter. She is just as stubborn……."

"As me? She's not…………."

"You underestimate yourself." Kyrie said knowingly.

"But….."

"Jim she grew up with you. Good bad or indifferent she took on not only Nancy's traits but yours as well. Half of raising a child is environment. They live what they learn and vise versa. She learned to be like you from you. She learned to turn everything inward….just like you have."

"Oh Geeze!"

"Indeed. What have I said all this time. You never give yourself a break. Nor do you ever rely on your gut. You jump to conclusions when they aren't there. You see yourself a failed man. You are hardly failed. You have many praying for you at this moment. You have many friends Jim. So go back and finish what you started. Do the right things as you see them and don't let your heart rule your head so much."

"Thank You Kyrie. Thank you so much for doing this. I thank God too. Oh and what he told Saunders….that we didn't hang out……that's not true it just was none of Saunders business. Gil is a very private man. He's not going to broadcast relationships. To him telling about something that he and someone did is an invasion. He likes to keep a relationship to himself and to the person he is relating too."

"I know. Gil Grissom is a man among men. Private though he might be, he needs to loosen up a little. You can tell him I said that. He's got a guardian angel too ya know. She has to work overtime a lot with him."

"I'll tell him. But he won't listen…well that's wrong too. He will and put it to consideration then do what he wants. But that is free will for you eh?" He asked.

"It sure is." Said Kyrie. "Jim you need to make your decision now. The time has come."

"I want to go back and live. I want to be given a second chance. I have a whole lot yet to do and I really don't have time to die. It would solve nothing and create more problems." Said Jim as Kyrie took him into the Surgical ICU. He saw his body laying there. He saw all his friends and then he saw Ellie.

"I'll be with you always Jim. Remember there are angels everywhere. We are put in your path all the time. You just have to notice." She said.

"This isn't goodbye then. It's see ya later." He said.

"Surely." She said and she hugged him and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then she put a blessing on him. "Jim Brass may you do what you set out to do. May you realize what you have and what you lost. I love you and so does the Creator. Go now back in peace."

Before Jim could say anything to her he was back in his body and he was in great pain. Then he realized he shouldn't fight so hard it would make it worse. He heard her voice above him saying good luck. Then the feeling of her being there was gone. But not the knowledge that she would always be there for him. He was back and awake. He saw Ellie and reached for her but she was frightened. Everyone he held dear was there. Nick, Grissom, Sara, Catherine, Warrick, Dr. Robbins and even Saunders….Saunders? He asked himself but he really wanted Ellie to come to him. He motioned for her to come in but she bolted. They all looked happy and relieved that he was alive. Actually he himself was happy and relieved. It had been 48 hours at least since he arrived at the hospital. All he could think about was Ellie though.

After he and Grissom talked about seeing the light and that he was glad that he didn't pull the plug on him he told Grissom he knew he was in good hands. That he knew that Grissom wouldn't make that decision lightly or unadvisedly. He hadn't. Grissom had given him every chance to recover as he saw and believed it. That's what you do when you are faced with a decision of this nature. You give the person every chance and let the doctors do what they do best. If it had gone the other way. If there had been no chance of recovery, Grissom would have let him go. After all the tests were done and he hadn't come back on his own.

"Jim I have to go now. Will you be ok?" Asked Grissom.

"Yeah, I know you probably have to be somewhere." Jim smiled and winked.

"Well, yes I do. Catherine is coming soon anyway. She wanted to be here for you."

"That's good. I'm glad you have to be somewhere. You know I have to be too. I mean right here for now."

"You know Jim, Ellie was here."

"Yes I know. I know everything that went on Gil. I was shown."

"I thought so seeing you have sort of a light around you."

"Kyrie was a peach, a real doll. Oh and she said for you to loosen up some. Your guardian angel is having one hell of a time with you."

"Humm, I guess I should give her some time off. Seeing that she gave you a message to give to me."

"Will you take it under advisement?"

"I'll give it the attention it needs as always. But since you clued me in…I'll really think on things. I really have to go now. You get some rest and we will talk later when you don't have so many tubes and wires in you." Said Grissom.

"Yeah I am hooked up like a cheap Japanese radio aren't I?" Jim asked chuckling a bit.

"Yeah. Take care Jim."

"You too Gil. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Oh I assure you I won't." Grissom said with a smile unlike Jim had ever seen on his friends face. He shook hands with Grissom and he turned and left.

"Yeah, I wonder who………" He chuckled again. "I don't have to wonder too hard." He said out loud.

"Wonder what Jim?" Asked Catherine smiling at the door.

"Grissom, he just left."

"I saw him and he didn't quite look like himself."

"I think we all have a second chance with my second chance. Catherine I should have married you."

Catherine giggled a little and crossed her arms. "Ok what ever they gave you I want some of it."

"You can only get this if your guardian angel gives you a choice."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, oh and I still say I should have…….."

"In your dreams Jim Brass." Giggled Catherine.

"Oh yeah, and I can still dream. Can't I?"

They both laughed and Catherine sat down and talked a great while.

Jim Brass had friends. He had a family that he made out of his friends and colleagues. He just had never realized it. Second chances come along for anyone wise enough to take them. Second chances come along when you least expect them.


End file.
